July 4th means a lot of things to people: patriotism, BBQs, fireworks and finding the best spot on the beach to watch the festivities.
My grand plan involved a dinner reservation at Salute, in time to enjoy a leisurely dinner and then watch the fireworks. The entire plan hinged on getting a good table, by the beach, which we did.
Not only did we get a lovely meal, but the people watching was outstanding. We learned a few things last night:
- Just because a bathing suit covers your nipples, does not mean you should be wearing it. Sometimes you should cover a little, or a lot, more.
- If your speakers are taller than me, you are clearly overcompensating. I’m just saying…
- If your toddler is not wearing a top to her bikini and she has a tan line, you need to apply more sunscreen to her little body.
- Just because a woman is on the other side of the volleyball net, does not insure your victory. Sorry, dude.
- A scrawny woman yelling and being held back by her maybe-boyfriend, while still screaming at another woman walking away is always funny. Always.
- People will always ooh and aah over fireworks. Although they may not turn down their dreadful “music” during the show.
Higgs beach was a sea of humanity two nights ago. People from all parts of Key West life were there, enjoying a humid evening, and terrible music, courtesy of the guy with too-big speakers.