What happens when two people, both bloggers, both witty and food and drink obsessed have a conversation via Facebook messenger? Hilarity, that is what. Here is the back story: The last time this friend was in Key West, we ran into them at Hot Tin Roof having brunch. Then they came by to see our house being built, essentially stalking us, and we made plans for the next time they’d be in town, around Christmas. As it turns out, they’ll be in for Labor Day weekend, working on their condo. I should mention that the last time this particular friend was at my house, she decided she was going to steal Babka and kept trying to get the dog to jump into her purse. Babka weighs 30 pounds, and she did not have a large bag. I have been reluctant to have her over since. So, I now refer to her as the “Likely Suspect in case Babka ever Goes Missing” or “LSBGM” Here is how the most recent conversation went:
LSBGM: So, we’ll be in KW over Labor Day, which means that if you see someone riding by your new house and trying to peek in the windows…you can’t say you weren’t warned!
Me: So maybe we can just make some actual plans so you don’t have to stalk us??? (And if you try to steal our much- more-portable new dog I’ll be a little peeved…)
LSBGM: I’d like that – but let me talk to The Foreman first. He is planning to work me to death that weekend and I’m not sure I’m even allowed out! PS: I promise not to steal your new dog, but only because my heart belongs to Babka. Latke is cute, but Babka is like puppy-food-commercial cute!
Editorial note: If you know anyone who is casting for adorable dogs in commercials, Babka will be more than happy to play the starring role, as long as she is treated like a diva.
Me: You’ll be allowed out. But you still can’t steal Babka. Maybe you can borrow her. At any rate, we are around. So just let us know. Maybe we can do brunch. Or dinner one night with [other friends] etc…
LSBGM: Sounds good – I’ll check with The Taskmaster and get back to you! Why oh why did I tell him we could save some money by doing a bunch of work on the condo ourselves???
Me: I’d be happy to recommend someone you can pay to do it for you, so you can enjoy your time in kw!
LSBGM: Thanks! We actually *are* paying someone for the work getting done this month! The only work we’re doing ourselves is painting and installing blinds — but painting with “The Taskmaster” will take about three times as long as if I were painting with a normal person!
Me: It would be far less fun if you were painting with a normal person. But it can be far MORE fun if you are painting with margaritas. Just saying.
LSBGM: Ah, true! So…perhaps brunch either Sunday or Monday morning (Aug. 31 or Sept. 1)? The Taskmaster is suggesting Santiago’s, presumably because he knows we cannot be trusted at an unlimited mimosa brunch again.
Me: But we should for sure think of unlimited mimosa brunch. Far more economical. Of course I think Sept. 1 starts Santiago’s half price food. .. Either way.
LSBGM: It is definitely a better bang for the buck, but then again, we almost sweat to death last time we were there! We’re not acclimated like you and Florida Keys Guy…yet! Let me check with The Taskmaster and see what he thinks. Either way I’ll book us for Monday the 1st – 12:30-ish? Bring new house pics!!!
Me: Well you can just come to the house around noon and we can all go wherever we are going together. .. If it’s Monday, it’s likely not brunch day, so let’s plan Santiago’s.
LSBGM: Well, I certainly wasn’t going to invite myself, but now that you offer…we’d LOVE to see the place!
Me: Why would you not invite yourself? Are you feeling OK?
LSBGM: Ha!!! I am quite an experienced party crasher…. We’ll come by and see your enormous kitchen and drool over your enormous closets, and then we will pry ourselves away and go to brunch!
Me: I just read this thread back and it would make a great blog post. Can I?
LSBGM: Sure. Will names be changed to protect the guilty?
Me (in the interest of full disclosure): Sure thing. You’ll be referred to as “likely suspect in the event Babka goes missing” or “LSBGM“
LSBGM: Ha – perfect!