Breach of Contract

His idea of acceptable.
His idea of acceptable.

There is nothing more important in a marriage – or in any relationship, really – than open, honest communication. It is important for both parties to be on the same page, or at the very least, understand where the other person is coming from. Every once in a while, it just doesn’t work out as planned. 

A year and a half ago, we moved from a house with a lovely master bath, complete with ginormous, custom made vanity.

My idea of acceptable.
My idea of acceptable.

It was perfect. It had tons of drawer and cabinet space. It had two sinks, and plenty of room for every toiletry product under the sun. There was never any discussion about what belongs where, and two people could easily get ready at the same time.

When we sold that house and moved into another, smaller house, we had to sacrifice on the bathroom. Although this one was remodeled, and is quite nice, it is much smaller than the last one. We now have a single vanity, with no medicine cabinet and zero drawers. That means we have to share. Occasionally, it results in a conversation like this one, that happened just last week:

FKGuy: Remember when we first moved in here (helloooooo…. it wasn’t all that long ago…) and we said that we had to keep the top of the vanity neat because it is so small?

Me: Whatever. Can you please pass the toothpaste? (And I know you are referring to me when you say “we“.)

FKGuy: All your stuff is sitting on top of the vanity. Can’t you put it in the cabinet?

Me: Well, if I put my medication away I will forget to take it – you know, out of sight, out of mind? We don’t want that to happen. (Not that there is a tremendous amount of space in the cabinet, either.)

FKGuy: What about your other stuff?

Me: Like what – the toothpaste I am currently using?

FKGuy: No, like your hair stuff. Or the contact lens solution. 

Me: Why are we still talking about this?

FKGuy: When we moved, we agreed to keep this neat. You are in breach of contract. 

Me: Breach of contract? Hhahahahahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

FKGuy: Yep, breach of contract. 

Me: OK, fantastic. Sue me. Meanwhile, I am going to sleep.

By the next morning all of my non-medication had been moved to the window sill. I have since moved some of it to the cabinet (I am fairly certain I will remember my hair product regardless of where it lives), yet there are a few stragglers that live on the counter. We have, thus far, avoided litigation. As our home building project continues, there is the promise of a large, two sink vanity in our very near future. We are both looking forward to that.