I Don’t Wear Real Clothes

The other day, as we were waiting to board the Appledore V for a sunset sail, my friend looked over at the crowd getting on a Fury Catamaran, looked back at me, and said “You forgot to wear your stilettos tonight.”  As if I might ever wear stilettos, and I got to thinking: I just don’t wear real shoes anymore. Or real clothes, for that matter.

The thing about the shoes is this: My toes need their freedom. My pedicured toes usually look good, so unless I am exercising in some capacity, there is no need for me to wear closed toes shoes. Plus, I have varying degrees of flip-flop. The Kino, ever comfortable, but really shouldn’t be worn anywhere important (not like that has stopped me) is my go-to shoe. There are others – even nice shoes, but they are all open. I live in Florida, so I don’t see this as a problem.

But the clothes are somewhat of a different issue. I have been known to say that I don’t do yoga, I just like the pants to gloss over the fact that I wear them nearly every day. (Different, clean ones, but still yoga pants). They are comfortable, forgiving for a few extra pounds and I mainly work from home, so I don’t see too many people. Of course, tonight we are going to a trendy Miami Beach restaurant to celebrate my mom’s birthday, so I will have to find some type of normal garment waiting for a chance to get out of the closet.

Weekends are even worse. We had dinner last  Friday with some people visiting Key West. He asked about the dress code for the restaurant. I replied “It’s Key West. You can pretty much wear a t-shirt and flip flops anywhere.” So my tank top-shorts-flip flop is the uniform for the weekend. I will, on occasion, wear a dress because it is actually easier. I know you are shocked by this, but hear me out: When you wear a dress, you only need to put on one garment. When you wear shorts or pants or a skirt and a top, you need to find two garments that match. And they both need to be clean at the same time. See? much easier to throw on a dress. Of course, this is why every pair of yoga pants, except one that I found on the sale rack at Lululemon, is black. They match every thing. Oh, and the sale pants? They are grey. They pretty much match everything, too.

I think I better start figuring out what I will wear to dinner now…