As a single person, only your schedule matters. So, when making plans, it is easy enough to look at your calendar and say “Yes! I’m free!” or “Nope. Let’s make it another time.” However, when you are part of a couple, there are now two schedules to take into account when making any plans. So, when is it OK to go solo, even if you were invited somewhere as a couple?
I posed this very question to a friend the other day, to make sure I wasn’t way off base in my thinking. Here is what we have decided:
THE DINNER DATE – NOT OK
If you’ve been invited to dinner as a couple, to socialize with another couple, for the express purpose of four people enjoying each other’s company, it is best to reschedule. Sure, only one of you could go, bring some wine, and have a fabulous time, but the point is for everyone to get together. So, look at your calendars and pick a date when all four people are available.
Verdict: Reschedule. Don’t go alone.
THE PARTY INVITATION – IT’S OK TO GO SOLO
If FKGuy and I receive an invitation to a party, and one of us was out of town, it seems likely that the one who is available would attend. It’s ok to RSVP to a party with fewer people than originally invited. (By the way, it is not ok to RSVP that you are bringing additional people, without first asking the host. But that is a different matter altogether.)
We are having a few people over for a small brunch, and when I invited some friends, they responded that they cannot come because one of them had to work. Naturally, I suggested that the one who is not working join us anyway. They have to eat, right? Might as well be with a bunch of other people enjoying some bagels. Plus, we invited the dog, too.
One year, for a New Years Day party, we RSVP’d that we would happily attend. That same day, FKGuy came down with the full-blown flu – fever, chills, the works. I could have stayed home and watched him sneeze, but I opted to go solo, which was perfectly acceptable to the hosts.
Verdict: Perfectly OK.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Life is complicated. Hanging out with your friends should not be. (If it is, you may need to rethink some of those friends.) Factoring in everyone’s schedules and responsibilities can often lead to frustration and agitation. Don’t let it get to you. Do what works for you at the time, and enjoy.