So, as I am trying to set up my new apartment, I am going through all of the usual stuff that people have to do when they move: get electric, water, cable, gas, blah, blah blah. Well, I actually forgot to get the gas turned on. So, I call the gas company to get the meter turned on. Suburban Propane, as it turns out, needs me to physically be home in order to turn on the meter. Why? I have no idea. But that is not the biggest outrage…
Suburban Propane charges a “security deposit” that they keep forever until you close your account of $50, plus an “inspection fee” of $75 to have someone come flip on the meter and turn on my stove. Alas, the biggest outrage of them all is this: a “termination fee” of $30. Seriously? I have to pay you to turn on my gas and then again to turn it off? Then I pay a monthly minimum charge, which is clearly more gas than I will need, and then I need to pay a “meter reading fee” of $5.62 per month. Seriously? A meter reading fee? Why don’t I just pay your gas bill too? Maybe a “hand washing fee”, or perhaps a “phone answering fee”. Stop the madness!
