So, you think living in paradise is all boating, fishing and sunning? Think again. Like home ownership everywhere, there can be certain issues: dealing with the historical society if you live in Old Town, hurricanes, and the one I did not count on, iguanas. I’ve named ours Iago.
We moved in to our new house, which has mature trees surrounding it and is generally fabulous. On move in weekend, we learned we had an iguana living in the tree. You might be asking yourself how we learned this little gem. Well, it seems Iago thinks that our deck is his private toilet.
Mind you, I have no idea if it is really a “he”, but I am sticking with it, given the whole go-to-the-bathroom-anywhere thing he’s got going on, plus Iago is a silly name for a female iguana.
We hate Iago. On a Home Depot trip trying to deal with a white fly infested tree, I asked the helpful sales people what I might do about getting rid of Iago. They gave me three choices:
- Shoot it. Either with a BB gun or an actual gun. Killing iguanas is, apparently, not illegal. Nor is it frowned upon. Plus, plenty of people eat iguana.
- Capture it and move it to another home.
- Suck it up and admit that it is staying a while.
Well, I don’t own a gun and I am not in the habit of killing animals, except maybe an errant roach. Although if you own a BB gun, want to come to my house and shoot Iago the iguana and move him somewhere else, I will be more than happy to make some cocktails. Come on over.
Number two, neither I nor FKGuy will be capturing Iago any time soon. We just won’t. Again, if you will, please stop by and I will make you a fruity beverage for your efforts. On the other hand, we are not too good at just sucking it up, either.
So we bought a bottle of Iguana-Rid, which is essentially $18 liquid cayenne pepper. We could not spay it high enough in the tree, so that was a failed effort and a waste of money.
Iago has survived it all. Then I had a plan… we will remove the tree branch that allows him easy access to our otherwise clean deck. In one fell swoop, the branch was gone. Now, it is more difficult for him to get to the nice sunny spot he called potty.
Iago is still there. I still hate him. I don’t think I can last waiting until it gets so cold out that he falls out of the tree (at which point, we would remove him, of course). If you are willing to offer any alternatives (it is a really tall tree, so please keep that in mind) I am more than happy to listen. Better yet, if you would like to come and claim Iago for your own, I would love it. I will even get you a box to carry him home.
7 thoughts on “Iago, My Nemesis”
But Stef, he is so CUTE! Catch him and send him to us… although he probably wouldn’t like winters in Central New York and may try to make his way back south to your deck at some point.
He would freeze and fall out of the tree… I am waiting for that to happen here. It does, you know…
I can’t believe there’s a real product called Iguana-Rid! Sounds like something that would be advertised in a Saturday Night Live commercial.
I know! I’m pretty sure that is where it originated, since it works as well as something from an SNL skit!
You only have ONE iguana? We live in Big Pine Key where they routinely feed on our hibiscus by the pool. We’ve done what you did, removed all nearby branches from trees in the jungle across the fence, but until our 10-pound terrier learned that chasing iguanas is fun and garners lots and lots of praise, we had no luck.
Last year, when we moved here, there was a HUGE iguana that took a shit by the pool. You’d think that a St Bernard lived here! I chased it with my camera one day; it obviously had never been challenged before and didn’t know how to respond. It ran headfirst into the fence several times, backing up shaking its head, running again, bouncing off, till it finally climbed the fence and ambled off. Haven’t seen it since.
However, we have many small ones this year, and Katie has taken it upon herself to save us. When one of us says the magic “i” word, she runs to the window, then tears out the doggie door (which is a whole other story, believe me) and around the pool, running back and forth alertly looking for iguanas. She actually caught one as big as she was last week, shook it twice, and wow. Dead iguana. Ick.
My husband threw it over the fence into the jungle. We watched off and on for an hour to see if it was really dead. Turns out it wasn’t; either that, or a hawk or eagle dived into the heavy growth in that lot and stole it.
Since then, Katie has brought us several tiny iguanas. Today’s seems to be a quadraplegic. What am I supposed to do? I can’t kill it, can’t let it go. AUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH.
Come on over, swim in our pool (yes, iguanas have been known to swim in it, with Katie close behind), have an adult beverage, and we’ll whine about iguanas 😉
Actually, I learned we have 2. I’m calling #2 Inga, so we have Inga and Iago. I hate them both equally and because they basically look like twins, I don’t know who to be mad at for crapping on the deck.
I hear ya on the St. Bernard thing… we thought a giant dog scaled the fence, did his business then left. Not so much, it’s a, iguana. Yet another reason I need a dog.