It’s October… Rules for Fantasy Fest


IMG_2710It is October, and besides the world being pinkwashed (yes, that’s a thing now), it is nearly time for Fantasy Fest. That week-long festival of ridiculousness in Key West. As such, I thought I would once again share with you some of my favorite rules of Fantasy Fest.

Yes, I know what you are thinking: Rules? What rules? There are no stinkin’ rules at Fantasy Fest! That’s what makes it so much, er, fun!  Well, there are some actual law-type rules, which mainly get ignored. But I am talking more about the common sense type stuff here. I talked about it a couple of years ago, but I think most of these are still valid, so here we go:

  1. What happens at Fantasy Fest does not stay at Fantasy Fest. Generally it ends up on the internet. Remember that, if your boss is also your IMG_2712Facebook friend (or your grandmother, or whoever else should not see your photos).
  2. Don’t kid yourself. Body paint is not clothing.
  3. The night of the big parade (Saturday, Oct. 31, this year) very few restaurants are open. Plan accordingly as the line at Sandy’s can get quite long, and it is better to have something in your stomach to soak up all the jello shots.
  4. Wear comfortable shoes. If you don’t want to end up like me, with broken shoes and dollar store, four-sizes-too-big pool shoes, just wear good, comfortable shoes to start with, even if they aren’t costume-perfect.
  5. Even Babka got in the spirit of things.
    Even Babka got in the spirit of things.

    Don’t bring your kids. This is not good, clean family fun. I know it is Halloween, but there is plenty of stuff for them not see. Hell, I don’t want to see it, either.

  6. Think about your costume in advance: how will you pee? Will your mask allow drinking? These are important things and should not be an afterthought. (Last year our friends had giant conch heads that they were wearing. They had built-in fans and drinking straws. That is good forward thinking.)

Paying a reasonable amount of attention can make Fantasy Fest a great time for you. This year, I will likely be at home during the big parade. I’ve already seen most of you naked.