The Detox Update: Did It Work?

Chili, made with butternut squash, over spinach.
Chili, made with butternut squash, over spinach.

After 10 days of the “detox” plan, I can honestly say this: I made it through five of them. By the end of day 5, I was exhausted, cranky and just wanted to sleep. Keep in mind I was eating real food, but no caffeine or alcohol (or cheese, or processed foods, or grains, or ice cream, which I firmly believe has a food group of its own.) My one, or sometimes two,  cappuccinos a day makes that big of a difference. 

I succumbed to the need for coffee Friday evening, fired up the Nespresso, and it’s been all uphill since then. By Saturday night I had a glass of wine, and all was right with the world. Sunday night was a bit of a backwards slide, with Rocky Horror and all, but in ten days, I have eaten better (if you can call pasta-and-ice-cream-free life “better“), I have lost three pounds, which is somewhat of a miracle when you have Hashimoto’s, and lost an inch off my waist. I don’t know where it went, but I am not sad to see it go. Good riddance.

Meanwhile, I tried taking a fiber supplement for the first few days. That did not go well. My doctor was right. (Don’t tell him I said that – he might expect me to think he is always right.) As for the whole detox concept? I was on the phone with a friend yesterday, another doctor, who said “Detox, huh? You know that is what your kidneys and liver are for, right?” Yes, I know. But my kidneys and liver had been working overtime, and now they can just do their jobs without feeling too taxed.

I now eat things over spinach (like last night’s chili), add flax seeds to my salads (Yay! More fiber!), and I am back to making my own salad dressing every time I want a salad, which turns out to be never, when you eat them all the time by default. On the upside, our avocado tree has produced tons of fruit this year, so my salads have been enhanced by the delicious, and fatty (in a good way) fruit.

As for the detox? I don’t think detox is the right word, but it rolls off the tongue a little better than “the-kick-in-the-ass-I-needed-to-start-eating-better-and-finally-lose-the-last-ten-pounds,” don’t you think?

I shall press on with my good eating, and will make an effort to lose the final eight pounds that have been clinging to my butt for dear life. (Hey, it was eleven, but 3 pounds have vacated their residence on my stomach just this week.) And when that happens? I am having a bowl of pasta, followed by ice cream, and we shall start the cycle anew.

By the way, you should know that I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so please do not construe any of this as medical advice. Should you need medical advice, please see an actual, certified, med school trained doctor.