Miami Restaurant Review: Soyka

September 3rd, 2010

I just don’t get valet parking, unless you can’t walk or it is pouring rain. 100% of the time I will choose to self-park, however. Why? A)  I don’t want to pay you to park my car when I am perfectly capable of walking all the way from the parking spot to the door or wherever I am going. B) I don’t really want someone else driving my car. C) I really despise waiting to get my car, when I can just mosey over to wherever it is at my leisure (see point A). What really pisses me off is the guy that says “Sure, you can self-park, but you still have to pay the valet parking fee,” which is what happened last night at Soyka.

My friend and I walked in to a mostly empty restaurant. As we were not that hungry, and it was getting late, we shared a few things: French onion soup, a salmon burger and a glass of Paco and Lola Albarinho.

The waitress was friendly, until she realized we would have a rather small bill. Then she was nowhere to be found. The menu is varied with a lot of choices including salads, sandwiches, burgers and more.

I would give the food an OK. The soup was good, but I really don’t think that is so hard to achieve – everything is better when it is slathered with melted cheese. I asked in advance if the salmon burger was, in fact, a burger (ground salmon) or just a hunk of salmon slapped on a bun and called a burger. It was, in fact, ground. The first bite I had tasted exclusively of cumin. It got a little better after that, but it really was a pretty bland, dry patty (except for the first bite). Kudos for putting a ripe tomato slice on the bun, instead of a sad, pink one that is often seen hidden in a bun.

The high point of this restaurant is the garden out back. If it was not 200 degrees out, I would have gladly sat outside.

This is the problem with many restaurants in Miami: they are mediocre at best, and yet, think they are really good. Next time I’ll try some other overpriced place instead, or maybe I will luck out and find someplace actually good. What are your favorites?

Post to Twitter

Smells Like Sweaty Saddle, and That’s A Good Thing

September 1st, 2010

We make our way up to the dessert room at Bern’s. To call it a room is a bit of a misnomer. In fact, it is a big space with many individual wooden-enclosed booths, complete with doors. Weird is an understatement. It is, however, unique.

We decided to order a bottle of wine before dessert. To follow up the 1970 Unico and Leoville Las Cases, we needed to order something good. Bern’s wine list is overwhelming. I am a complete wine geek, and I found it overwhelming. How a mere mortal is supposed to pick something out of the hundred page bound book is a mystery to me. Between the six of us we narrowed it down to the Rhone, and were looking at some 1970 Hermitage.

We enlisted the help of the sommelier, and finally picked the 1964 H. Debost Cote Rotie. The sommelier comes back with the wine, decants it and presents it for tasting after sticking his nose in it and declaring “It smells like sweaty saddle!” Lorna, the birthday girl, looks at him like he’s nuts. He tries to ask her if she’s ever been on a horse. Instead it comes out “Haven’t you ever been on a whore?” No, not so much. Thanks for asking.

With that, we shut the swinging saloon doors to our little room and enjoyed our wine.

There are macadamias ON the sundae, none IN the ice cream

Next up is the dessert. I think they must be more famous for their wines and steaks than dessert. Florida Keys Guy had some sort of chocolate peanut butter concoction, which was quite good. I shared a “macadamia nut sundae” with Lorna, which supposedly had macadamia nut ice cream. Nope. It was a chocolate caramel ice cream that had some other type of unidentifiable nut in it. Definitely NOT a macadamia nut.  The whipped cream, however, was fresh, as was the hot fudge. I am not saying the ice cream was bad, just not as described.

Overall, the decor at Bern’s frightened me. Would I go back? Sure, for the wine. The dessert was good, but certainly not worth a special trip.

Post to Twitter

The Big Four-Oh

August 30th, 2010

Over the weekend, we went to Tampa to visit some friends and celebrate her 40th birthday, or as she likes to put it: the first anniversary of her 39th birthday. Friday evening was at Sidebern’s, the “creative” restaurant owned by the same people as Bern’s, the steakhouse.

The food was good, including the heirloom tomato salad, the gnocchi, which were tiny little fluffy pillows; our friends had both the foie gras and “chicken fried” sweetbreads. The food, however, was secondary to the wines. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

The Hosts with The Mosts: Wine Extravaganza

August 27th, 2010

Wine dinner does not adequately describe Saturday night. Yes, there was dinner. Yes, there was wine – and a lot of it. But mostly, there were good friends and a whole lot of laughs. Of course, it never hurts to have a vertical of Grange to keep things fun.

Florida Keys Guy and I arrived several hours early to help prepare for the festivities. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

Restaurant Review: Southernmost Beach Cafe

August 25th, 2010

Imagine relaxing on a cool, breezy day, palm trees swaying, sitting in the shade with a view of the beach and a cocktail in hand. OK, it felt like it was 200 degrees outside and I was drinking iced tea, but you get the idea. Like many other businesses in Key West, everyone thinks they are the Southernmost something-or-other.  For the Southernmost Beach Cafe, the name is accurate at least for the moment – they are the cafe that is furthest south on the actual beach.

It is a typical on-the-sand type of place in that the lunch menu consists of mainly salads, sandwiches, burgers and big, fruity cocktails. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

More Key West Wine Bars: The Good and The Dreadful

August 23rd, 2010

With the opening of new wine bars faster than you can say “Cabernet” I have been on a quest to try them all. So, we went to try Grand Vin. I had not been there in a very long time. When I walked in, the overwhelming stench of stale smoke embedded in the walls and carpet reminded me why. The wine store part of the place had nothing  I would be inspired to buy, yet there were three large Vinotemps, each with signs that said “Ask us for a list of the stuff that is in here”. We strolled over to the bar area and perused what was on offer. None of the wines on the limited list were of interest to me. During the entire time we were there nobody could be bothered to acknowledge our presence. I guess they thought we were tourists who would never come back. Well, they were half right. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

New Posting Schedule

August 21st, 2010

Good morning! This is just a note to let you know that I have given you yet one more distraction from work during the week. I will continue to post three times per week, at least, but they will be on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.

So if you need a little extra break, just pop over here to virtual paradise. See you all during the week.

Post to Twitter

Things to Do in Key West: The Hemingway House

August 19th, 2010

When people come to visit us – which is generally every weekend in the winter, and only slightly less frequently in the summer -  they often ask what they should do while they are here. I have pointed out the Hemingway House at least 100 times on a map, yet have never gone. Until today. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

d’Vine: The Wine Bar

August 17th, 2010

I was called out on my post last week on The Porch for it not actually being the newest wine bar in Key West. In fact, at the time of posting, it was the newest wine bar, but that was last week.

This week, the newest wine bar is d’Vine, at The Gardens Hotel. The gimmick is the Enomatic machines “First in the Keys” announced the grand opening flyer. But will it live past the gimmick? Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter

Key West’s Best Kept Secret

August 14th, 2010

Key West has a lot to offer. But sometimes, especially in the summer, you just want to be in air conditioning. The Eco-Discovery Center, located through the Truman Annex gate on the way to Fort Zachary Taylor beach, is the perfect way to spend some time on a hot afternoon, before or after the beach. It is free, air conditioned and has parking, which are all things that are sometimes hard to come by in Key West. Not only that, but the bathrooms are clean, too. Read the rest of this entry »

Post to Twitter