By now you should have a pretty good idea of the perfect places to pee while heading southbound on the Overseas Highway. Have you found some favorites of your own? Some places that don’t make the cut? Leave a comment and let me know, I’d like to add them to my list.
In the interest of oversharing, you should know that I make a point to pee before I leave the house. I will assume you do too, and thus will save the Best Places to Pee in Key West for another day.
Heading northbound, which I generally do very early in the morning, I try to time the bathroom breaks with the places that have decent coffee and/or breakfast, so the bathroom ratings may be slightly skewed.
Normally I can make it at least until Islamorada before needing a break, but every once in a while I need to stop in Marathon. I stop at the McDonald’s. It is on the right side of the road, open early and they have coffee. Bad coffee, but coffee nonetheless. The bathrooms are usually clean in the pre-dawn hours, but as it is up a flight of stairs and the coffee sucks, they get a Bathroom Convenience Ratio (BCR) rating of 6.
In Islamorada there are many choices. First up, the Midway Cafe at Mile Marker 81. Parallel parking out front makes getting in and out very easy. They have a wide choice of breakfast items as well as good coffee. But the bathroom is fabulous. It has 4 walls of hand painted tropical mural, it is spacious and, yes, they even have good hand soap. The only thing keeping them from getting a 10 here is that, much like the rest of the Florida Keys, there is only one stall. BCR: 9.5
Next, at Mile Marker 83 is the Village Gourmet. This is a great little place (full review coming soon) with good food and self-serve (read: quick) coffee. The bathroom is out the side door, but there is a covered overhang, so no getting wet in a rainstorm. It could certainly use some updating, but I am always happy to stop here. BCR: 8
There are a few places to stop in Key Largo, but as I rarely do, I will move on to Florida City. Between the 18-mile stretch and the Florida Turnpike lies Florida City, and a strip of gas stations and fast food. There is a Dunkin Donuts here where I have stopped several times. I try to avoid it at all costs, however, because they only have one bathroom (which, unlike the Midway Cafe, is ALWAYS in use when I get there), service is slow and you have to walk around the counter to get to the bathroom with the people that work there and all other customers staring at you all the while. No thanks. BCR: 5
Are there any treasures that I missed? Let me know!